Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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