I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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