When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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