what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
