your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
