chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
