There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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