I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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