Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
