Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
