you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
