Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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