She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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