Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
