Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
