i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
