And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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