We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
