Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was like his penis was on wheels.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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