i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
