I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize