I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
