I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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