you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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