i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
