dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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