she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
