Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
