marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was a blind-side dick pic.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
