Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
