I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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