goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have demons in me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My feet surprised me
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