omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize