these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
