You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize