I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
