she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
