were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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