So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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