I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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