Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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