We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
