stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
