I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
