Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize