My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
