So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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