Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
