so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
