oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
