So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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