im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize