i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
