They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dignity is for republicans.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
