I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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